Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room.Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room.Marriage- When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.Love- When intercourse is called making love.Lust- When intercourse in called screwing.Marriage- When intercourse is a little town in Pennsylvania.Love- When you argue over how many kids to have.Lust- When you argue over who gets the wet spot.Marriage- When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.Love- When you share everything you own.Lust- When you steal everything they own.Marriage- When the bank owns everything.Love- When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.Lust- When the relationship is over if you don't climax.Marriage- When.... uh.... what's a climax.Love- When your heart flutters every time you see them.Lust- When your groin twitches every time you see them.Marriage- When your wallet empties every time you see them.Love- When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.Lust- When all the songs on the radio determine how you do it.Marriage- When you listen to talk radio.Love- When breaking up is something you try not to think about.Lust- When staying together is something you try not to think about.Marriage- When just getting through the day is your only thought.Love- When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.Lust- When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.Marriage- When you're only interested in your golf score.Love- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.Lust- When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex.Marriage- When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.Love- You only leave the house for coffee and doughnuts.Lust- You only leave the house for condoms and Vaseline.Marriage- You only leave the house when you're allowed

A blonde woman is terribly overweight

A blonde woman is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that’s amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded. "I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from skipping."

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